H-Doesn't-ANNEYEUWAS part 20

I was going to take some time off, but I've been processing this for a couple of days and I need to vent.

So. The weekend. Really, everything was kind of OK.

Except the sex.

Yeah.

You'll remember that when he was here in Phoenix, there were some Issues.

I put them down to it being the first time we've been together, etc. There was some awkwardness, some missed signals, some discomfort (mental and physical).

So. This weekend, it was horrible. It was like we were just on completely different wavelengths, and I felt completely shut out and at one point he actually YELLED at me. Yeah. Not good.

Last night I finally broached the topic and asked him what was up (or not up, if you see where I'm going with this) and he blamed me. Yes, that's right. I'm demanding and selfish. I'm so demanding and selfish that this weekend, when I inquired as to his preferences he wouldn't respond, and when I thought that perhaps I could very nicely suggest what my preferences were, I got yelled at.

Clearly some issues there. Are we starting to see why he hasn't had any long-term relationships?

I don't know. I don't want to put it all on him, but I feel like I'm totally willing to work out things however he feels comfortable, and I think he'd just prefer to say I'm bad in bed. Which, you know? I don't think is true. It's not exactly 10 billion served over here, but I'm more than comfortable with the process.

Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.

So. I don't know what happens now. I'd like to believe that he figures out that I'm on his side and we work through it. But I think it's more likely that he walks away. We didn't break up, but last night's conversation had that dead feeling to it that doesn't usually lead to anything good.

The only immediate problem (aside from my heart breaking, can you hear it?) is that I'm booked to go back for this wedding in 2 weeks, and I don't know which would be worse -- for me to go when it would be horrible or to not go and leave him in the lurch.

I just feel horrible. I feel crappy if what he said is even remotely true, and I feel crappy if this doesn't work out because he can't get over whatever's going on in his head.

Comments

[The Sagittarian]

Guys who yell at you rather than deal with the issues? Sounds like he would be a lot of work, do you want to do that, is he worth the effort? To me, someone special is that person who shoulders their own responsibility and doesn't try to make someone else feel like shite. Go for a grown up. And don't be too hard on yourself, there isn't anything wrong with you from as far as I can make out!!

[tiger lamg girl]

From what you've shared? I'd totally cut my losses and get the hell out before any more baggage was hurled at me. I'd cancel the trip and wish him the best. And I wouldn't look back. At all.

ANY man who yells at a woman for ANY reason has got issues. Serious red flag there, IslayGirl. Not to mention him actually saying you were bad in bed (OMG WOMAN! I cannot believe he even thought it - much less VOICED IT!).

You said, "Clearly some issues there. Are we starting to see why he hasn't had any long-term relationships?"

Uh. Ya think?
Uhm, yeh.

Listen, don't you dare internalise any of his shite. Him yelling for whatever reason is HIS problem. And his alone.

I'm around if you want to chat about anything;). lots of hugs xoxo.

[jane]

DANGER DANGER WILL ROBINSON-run, don't walk on this. Anything that starts with yelling will quickly devolve. Don't settle for something that isn't worthy of you-

[Melissa in NZ]

My gut feeling ... RUN! You deserve SO much better!!!

[Nin]

I agree with the others, he's not worth it.

[Nin]

think of it this way, there's someone out there waiting to find YOU, not the other way around!