Islay Girl

Meh.

I'm not a big fan of the whole new year's eve thing. I've never been with someone who was on for the party thing, and while I am always happy to attend a party, I'm not much for throwing them, and I don't do the giant-circle-of-friends thing (nothing against it, in fact, i crave it, i just don't have the social skills).

New year's eve always makes me think of the party in When Harry Met Sally and every time I get to that scene, I think, who are these people, who have hundreds of people at their nye party? And how can i get an invitation?

The SG does seem to have a giant circle of friends. He is going to a we-rented-out-the-restaurant kind of open-bar-all-night party which sounds quite fun, actually, and I'm sitting here trying not to be jealous and hoping he doesn't end up with beer goggles for the nearest female.

Whatever.

I'm crabby, it was a long day at work (all the longer because it was supposed to be a half-day) and I'm tired, so I'm going to go away and come back in 2008.

Happy New Year and thanks for reading. xx

HDANNEYEUWAS, part 14, the Received Pronunciation*

So. We had a long talk. I think he's probably wound as tight as I am, only the guy version.

It is hard doing this from the other side of the country. As much as it's good that we have time to talk and let things develop that way, it's hard having these conversations without being able to see the expression on his face.

And this is especially amusing to me, I think some of our communication difficulties are because of the differences in our accents. Two people separated by a common language, etc. The difference in cadence and intonation, combined with us both being on cell phones 95 percent of the time, and throw in not knowing one another well enough to have a working knowledge of the other's speaking patterns ... it sounds silly, but it's true.

Not insurmountable, not at all, but it's so much easier when we're in front of each other.

*learn about the RP here.

HDANNEYEUWAS, part 13, for those of you still tuning in.

He called.

I missed the call (of course) but picked up the voicemail in which he thanked me. OK. Status quo. I'm still insane and clearly shouldn't be reading Animal Husbandry right now. I still have no idea what I'm thinking/feeling/doing, but that's nothing new.

So. Thanks for your unstinting support (and especially Special K, who has been a BASTION of kindness and good sense for me in the past month). I'm going to go back to tearing my cuticles to shreds and scrubbing bathroom grout with a toothbrush.

We interrupt my navel-gazing and hair-tearing for this belly laugh:

From Cute Overload:

The PAW.

HDANNEYEUWAS, part 12, I think he's just not that into me.

So. Gut check time.

On the plus side, we've had at least some contact every day since we met. On Christmas, he said he wished i was there. He continues to be complimentary.

Now the minus side. We haven't had a real conversation in a week. Now, I know that week included a lot of travel and family obligations on his end, and I know he was back at work today and that he probably had a mountain of stuff to deal with. And I know men are very 'Out of sight, out of mind.'

But. Last night we were talking and he hadn't mentioned the thing I sent him. So finally I said, 'Umm, have you checked your mail?' And he hadn't. OK, fine.

But today? Not a call. Not a, 'Hey, thanks, that was sweet of you.' NOTHING. Radio silence. Not an e-mail, "Completely swamped, but thanks for thinking of me. Talk to you later."

Now, what i sent was hardly a declaration of love. I made him a silly CD mix and put in a nice (but not overly affectionate) note. Very low-key, so as not to frighten the male of the species.

So. The options are:
1. He has terrible manners. (Not true. He has EXCELLENT manners.)

2. He hated the CD and can't even acknowledge it. (Unlikely. See #1.)

3. He's completely freaked out and is reading more into it all than I meant him to. (Seems unlikely. I really didn't say anything in the note other than I'm glad we met, and the CD included liner notes to prevent any misunderstanding regarding song choice, i.e. 'Love! This song mentions LOVE! Oh, God, she's in love with me! What do I do?' No. That won't happen.)

4. He doesn't realize he should call me and say SOMETHING, ANYTHING (also unlikely).

5. (And this is the one I don't want to write) He's kind of over the whole thing and can't bring himself to tell me. I sent him an e-mail he didn't respond to on Wednesday, we talked a little yesterday, and now the CD and NOTHING, and I think he's fading.

Or am I just crazy? I don't ~feel~ like I'm asking for too much here. I know it's the beginning, I know we're just getting to know eachother, but I feel a little, I don't know, taken for granted? Disrespected? Maybe he's just exceedingly casual, but given how he was at the beginning ... I don't know.

So I'm just going to back off, I guess. There's no point in actually saying something to him about it because it would just make it worse ... I mean, if he honestly doesn't want to be in closer contact, then this really isn't going to work.

The only problem here is that I'm leaving next Friday to spend a weekend with him. A weekend that will be very, very, very long if he's just suffering it.

So what do you think? Clueless male? Confused male? Careless male? Help.

What's that sound?

Oh. It's the sound of a concrete drill at 6.30 in the morning.

I have termites. Apparently, everyone has termites, on some level, but I thought mine were treated and they weren't (enough to get me through escrow, apparently).

So, that leads me to this morning, when I am sitting here, hostage in my bedroom, while a very polite man with a cowboy mustache drills holes in my foundation. And since I live in a townhouse with common walls, that means the drilling is happening inside.

And I am getting a stye in my left eye.

And I have a painful pimple developing in the corner of my right nostril.

The only saving grace is that this is all happening THIS Friday and not NEXT Friday, when I will be on a plane to heading east, to see the SG.

Argh.

Label/Receipt Number: 0103 8555 7492 7154 3098
Status: Delivered

Your item was delivered at 10:54 AM on December 24, 2007 in RICHMOND, VA 23221.

Exactly 3 hours after the SG left for Christmas at home. In South Carolina. Argh.

But Merry Christmas anyway. Hope you all had a lovely holiday, filled with too many good things to eat, good times with friends and family and lots of Champagne. xx

Merry Christmas

ORIOLI, Pietro
1458 - 1496

Five good things.

5. A warm Scottie dog curled up next to me. Or someone else.

4. Christmas cookies

3. A picture of my Christmas tree, taken from the perspective of a 5-year-old.

2. Voices of small people reading the Christmas pageant script

1. South Carolina accents

Thank God for sisters.

Special K is awesome. Many of you already know this, and I know it for a variety of reasons, of course, but today she reminded me again.

All the drama (the drama inside my head, of course) has been getting me down. Very down, actually. And try as I might, I've been having trouble getting out of my head long enough to get everything to a manageable state.

So I sent a cri de coeur to Special K today, and she called and talked me off the ledge, reminding me quite rightly that it wasn't all about me. In fact, it was rarely about me. She's about six months ahead of me in a relationship and is ideally positioned to nudge me toward sanity.

This was followed about an hour later by a call from the SG, who apropos something completely different, reminded me that I tend to worry about stuff that doesn't matter, or that I can't do anything about. And he did it in such a nice, affectionate way that I felt cherished, not teased.

So, to summarize: Sisters: Good. SG: Continuing to pass auditions. Me: Crazy, but trying.

And speaking of awesome, you have to see this.